Saddled with a crummy job


I’m a waitress at the Texas Roadhouse. That means every hour I have to do a humiliating dance for customers who are too busy stuffing their fat faces with greasy ribs to even watch. Not that I’d want them to watch, really, I guess. Whenever it’s someone’s birthday, we bring out this saddle and one of us has to do a vaguely sexual dance on it or around it or something — none of us really knows what to do with the saddle, honestly. Last week it was some little girl’s birthday, and even though I can’t imagine that a little girl would want to watch me do a sexy saddle dance, I had to do it. The thing was, I had a lot to drink the night before and I wasn’t feeling so hot. I started gyrating next to the saddle a little and before I knew it I was puking all over the floor. The birthday girl started to cry. My boss/dance captain/professional asshole, looking on from the sideline, gestured for me to continue. I did a few tap steps on the pukey floor but then I started to cry too. I ran off to the kitchen, a trail of vomit following behind me. Why haven’t I quit yet?

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3 Responses to “Saddled with a crummy job”


  1. 1 did you quit!? November 30, 2010 at 4:40 PM

    omg that is soOooOO embarrassing! did you quit after?!? i totally would have. disgusting!

  2. 2 terrible place December 1, 2010 at 12:30 AM

    I went to the roadhouse last month and you’re right — it’s a pretty damn depressing place. Excellent pulled pork though.

  3. 3 I was that little girl! December 1, 2010 at 12:32 AM

    Thank you for the dance.


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