if only it wasn’t real


i’m a cashier at wendy’s. needless to say, i hate it. my boss is so enthusiastic i want to kill him. “come on, guys, let ‘em know when it’s real!” he always says. “hey john,” he says when he sees me moping around, which is like all the time, “are you letting them know when it’s real?” i say “yeah, shit’s about to get real in here, tommy. shit’s about to get real real.” which doesn’t sound great, i know, but my point is clear enough. wendy’s slogan is “you know when it’s real,” in case that wasn’t clear.

and people ask the stupidest shit. “is the chili good today?” yeah, it’s fucking delicious today. our chef, lorenzo, just perfected his recipe! “why is it called the baconator?” because it was invented in the middle ages by francis bacon. “do you know if there’s milk in the frosty? because i’m lactose intolerant and i always feel really crappy after i have them.” yes, sir, there is milk in the frosty. “okay you better give me just one then.” ugh it is so awful.

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4 Responses to “if only it wasn’t real”


  1. 1 mcdonalds or wendys November 30, 2010 at 4:34 PM

    i wonder which is worse to work at .. mcy d’s or wendys? also.. my friends used to tell me frostys were no-fat.. so i used to drink so many of them, but they totally do have fat in them! the liars!

  2. 2 "is the chili good today?" December 1, 2010 at 12:13 AM

    love it.

  3. 3 Dave Thomas December 1, 2010 at 12:13 AM

    Son, you’re fired.

  4. 4 quick question December 1, 2010 at 12:14 AM

    is the baconator still available? the wendy’s by me doesn’t have it anymore. please let me know at sexkid1994@radioshack.com thx.


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